How often do you find yourself reacting to what someone else has said or done, experiencing anger or confusion before you even realize what’s happening?
I want to tell you about a coaching tool that will help you to be more aware of how you respond in the moment. When you use this tool, you will accept yourself more fully, learn gracefully, and overall, enjoy more confidence.
I learned about the Universal Growth Principle over a decade ago, from my first life coach, Kathy Wickstran-Gahn, who is a life coach and also trains Olympic swimmers. Then I heard about it again from Dr. David Daniels, a wonderful teacher and psychologist from Stanford Medical School, who passed away not too long ago.
I love the Universal Growth Principle because it is simple to remember and it keeps me moving forward when I’m feeling confused or unsure.
People often refer to the Universal Growth Principle as "The 4 A's," which stands for Awareness, Acceptance, Action and Adherence. Dr. Daniels also adds in another A for Appreciation though I'll explore that one in a separate blog.
The first A of The 4 A's, stands for Awareness. If I can’t see my behavior then I can’t choose how to change it, expand it, explore it, or add to it. I remain blind and unaware. My behaviors run me instead of me running them.
For example, I used to get feedback that I was bossy. At first, I felt hurt by this feedback and defended against it. “I’m not being bossy! I just want to get this done!” I would say to my friends, my children, or my husband.
Finally, after receiving this same feedback in different ways, at different times, from different people, I started to see that perhaps in certain situations I was actually being bossy.
This past Friday was a Red Letter Day for me. Short story: I had a breast MRI and I do not have breast cancer! Long story: I am taking steps to sustain my health.
In mid-December I decided to look ahead at what changes I wanted to make for the New Year. I was also inspired to refresh my health goals because I’m going to be working as a health coach this year at a new clinic called Northwest Memory Care in Ashland, Oregon. Dr. Deborah Gordon and our team are committed to helping patients make changes based on the Bredesen Protocol, to prevent or reverse Alzheimer’s. Exciting stuff!
I found myself making an informal survey of diets—Ketonic, Paleo, Blue Zones, Heart Healthy, etc. and was amazed at the amount of information I found. And of course, everyone swears by whatever diet they have done. It is so human to want to find One Answer!
One diet I read about in a book my doctor gave me, written by Dr. Esselstyn from the Cleveland Heart Clinic, said to eat a plant-based diet but to avoid avocados—while another doctor I respect and admire strongly advocated for avocados as being a source of good fat. When I asked my fitness trainer at the YMCA about whether or not I should eat avocados he said, with great passion and a chuckle: “It’s not about the avocado!”
In had an exchange this morning with my younger daughter, Grace. She had just found out through Facebook that a friend’s mother died several months ago. This friend is her age and I could tell she was upset by this idea of death and the loss of a mother. We exchanged “I love you’s” via text and I thought, once again, how precious life is.
In honor of this exchange with my daughter, and the three-year anniversary since my father’s death, I want to post the following blog that I wrote way back when. I like to take time to know my family history, and to consider those who have gone before. I value appreciating the span of time: past, present, future. Here goes . . .
This is the revelation I had this morning. Like the hot water bottle I sleep with on cold nights, I feel this reassurance radiating outwards, warming me with its simple truth.
What’s funny is that, I am right now actually alone, at least physically. My husband is on the East Coast for business as well as to visit our daughters, who work and go to college there. And my father, with whom we bought our ranch 13 years ago, is no longer with us in body though he is often in my heart.
I went to a weekend retreat for women 20 years ago and I’ve been staffing it ever since. The Woman Within community has become a part of me, a place where I belong. My weekend in 1994 broke me wide open and showed me that it was okay to feel emotions I’d kept locked inside. I learned that I didn’t have to do everything on my own after all, that I could nurture the softer sides of myself, and that I could reach out to other women and they wouldn’t reject me. I found a lot of laughter, tears, love and hope that weekend and it has inspired me to continue on a path of growth and healing.